No Wii for Me

I'm not sure I want to spend the money on it right now, but it offends my completely american instant gratification sensibilities that I cannot buy a wii right now without paying opportunists much more than the thing is worth. Supplies are still low here in the Reno area, and the nerds have become restless. Reno seems muted now, expectant. Waiting for the sentries on casino roofs to shout "Neeeeerdddddsssss!" as a pale, unwashed mass of proto-humanity floods into the downtown area, hungry for the digital stimulants that only the Japanese wii can provide. There is no physical threat of course, as years of malnutrition and apathy have severely atrophied the muscles not strictly necessary for mouse-clicking, gamepad controlling or masturbation. At best, they could thrash ineffectively, raining rapid, yet barely noticeable cotton-soft blows on unsuspecting pedestrians before tiring quickly and looking around for a bean bag chair. The only remote danger persisting in the possibility that one of their heavier brethren might trip and fall on top of children or the elderly.

No, their menace stems not from the Newtonian mechanics of their violence, but purely from their smell. Oh lord the smell that precedes the unwashed horde as the vanguard of their assault. Years of basement living and cheetoh snacking have left them with an orange, moldy crust, the scent of which can drop a mountain lion at 50 yards. It is this that causes the masses to flee at the approach of this frenetic mass of faintly luminescent and completely odiferous nerdality.

So tread lightly and carry nose-plugs should you be brave enough to venture to The Reno. For there are no wiis here.

There are no wiis here.

God help us all.

A box of nothing

Wishing myself a very metal birthday.

Shocking Internet Discoveries

You know, I was thinking of how you can just find almost any video you can think of and tried an experiment. As it turns out, youtube does indeed have any video you can think of. Here's the first part.